


Faultlines

by genderneutralnoun



Category: MCSM, Minecraft Story Mode
Genre: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Autistic Jesse, BYOT (stands for Bring Your Own Tissues), F/F, PTSD, Social Anxiety, Socially anxious Petra
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9197663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genderneutralnoun/pseuds/genderneutralnoun
Summary: What the heck I don't even know I'm trying to post this before I go to school okayrated T because I'm paranoid





	1. All I can do is stay (all I can do is wait)

Petra couldn't believe it. Well, actually, she could. It wasn't THAT surprising that Jesse would be in a less than ideal state of mind after all that lovely stuff. But still, it was hard to accept.

After Reuben (there was no point in mincing words) died, that just seemed to be the last straw. Jesse had just stared, tests silently pouring down her face, and, later, allowed herself to be gently led away by Olivia. Now she was by herself, Petra having insisted that the best thing was to give her space.

Ironically, Petra still felt she needed to be nearby. Why, she didn't know, but it did feel like it needed to be her specifically.

Shaking herself from her thoughts, Petra glanced around the corner at the bed Jesse was on. She was sitting with her legs bunched up in front of her, her arms around them. She was rocking slowly back and forth in the weird way that she did when she was nervous. Her eyes were screwed shut.

Petra felt a pang of worry. Jesse was only sixteen years old, for cake’s sake! She was least of them to deserve this. Impulsively Petra wished that she could have taken her place.

More rationally, Petra reminded herself that it didn't matter now. Whatever had happened before, Jesse was in a bad state, and Petra felt obliged to help her.

She walked slowly towards Jesse. The room was dimly lit, as Jesse hated bright lights. The younger girl looked up as soon as Petra came within range of sight. Her watery eyes showed definite tatters of an irrational, leftover fear, but also a cautious relief at seeing her friend.

Petra sat down on the bed next to her- close, but not too close- and waited. She knew Jesse would speak when she was ready.

“Petra, I-” She looked away, then back to the older girl. “Why are you here?”

“To help you.”

“Why?”

“Because you need help.”

“But,” Jesse shifted anxiously. “But, I don't deserve it.”

A hot spike of muddled emotions surged inside Petra. Was that it? That wouldn't do at all.

Despite being upset, Petra managed to be calm on the outside. “Yes, you do. You-”

“I let them _die!_ ” Jesse shrieked. “I couldn't do it! I failed! I don't deserve- I don't- I can't-” Jesse was crying again. She flopped onto Petra, who held her, stroking her head gently.

“You did your best,” she said quietly. “That's all we can ask for. And anyone who tells you differently is wrong.”

There was a silence as Jesse processed that. “I,” she started. “Petra, I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of?” The question held no trace of malice, just an honest curiosity.

“I don’t know.” Jesse hugged the older girl more tightly. “And that’s the scariest part.”

“I promise,” Petra was careful with her words- she wanted to reassure Jesse without making her fear out to be irrational (because that wouldn’t help, getting Jesse angry)- “that I won’t let anything hurt you. But it’s okay to be scared.”

“Really?”

“Really really.” There was a pause as Petra thought over what she needed to say next. “Would you mind if I asked you to think harder about what you’re scared of? I mean, identifying it might help.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Jesse said after a beat. She sighed and let go of Petra, sitting back down beside her. Petra ferociously squashed the tiny bug of disappointment that gave her. “I guess I can try.”

“I keep remembering,” she started slowly, her eyes fixed to the floor. “when I was in the storm. It was so _dead_ in there. People were stuck to it like blocks, and this time, instead of just keeping them inside, it was actually killing them. They were…” Jesse began to shake. Petra held out her arm wordlessly, and the younger girl leaned into it. The shaking didn't stop, but it did lessen. “I'm sorry. I was trying to remember, but…”

“It's alright.” Petra scooted closer without really thinking about it. “I’m sorry I made you remember that. But now we know what it is, so…” Petra thought quickly. She remembered what she did when she was feeling overwhelmed from too many people, even though she had already returned home. “Look around you. This place is very different from where you were before. Feel that and remind yourself that you're safe.”

There was another silence as Jesse did just that. “You're right,” she said at last. “Especially with you here.”


	2. All we can do is hope (all we can do is wish)

Petra spent much of that first day with Jesse, not talking much after their initial conversation, just comforting the younger girl with her simple presence.

But eventually, Petra could sense that Jesse needed a break. So she left, silently, as she wasn't quite sure how she could explain her inkling that she needed to leave.

Petra stepped out of the small house (a shelter built when they realized that Jesse was in no condition to help rebuild) and started when she saw that the sun was peeking over the horizon, and the birds were making a racket. She had stayed up all night.

Well, maybe not all night. She had a vague memory of falling asleep sitting up, which might explain why she didn't feel quite as tired as she should.

“Hey, look who got up and smelled the sunshine.” Axel was walking towards her. “You look pretty well rested for a girl who stayed up all night watching her friend.”

“I fell asleep in there,” Petra responded.

Axel raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, put a slime in it.” Petra thought hard about cold water, but to her annoyance it didn't do anything to remove the blush from her cheeks.

“I didn't say anything.” Axel made a calming motion with his hands. “So anyway, how's the boss?”

Petra rolled her eyes at Axel’s new nickname for their group leader. “She’s alive, and nothing wrong physically that I could see. But she's pretty shaken up- you know she's kinda sensitive, and, well, she's only sixteen. She blames herself for… the others. You know.”

Axel scrunched up his face. “Yep, I can imagine,” he said. “She would always come up with these brilliant ideas, but any time they went even a little wrong, she would blame herself, even if rationally it was me or Olivia’s fault. She’d go mental if someone actually got hurt.”

“I wish she could see that it wasn't her fault,” Petra said. “Reuben and Ellegaard- they both chose to put themselves on the line for the sake of everybody. And there was nothing she could do about all the others.”

“Me too, Petra,” Axel patted the taller girl on the shoulder, forgetting as always that she didn't like that. “Me too.”


End file.
